Five Thoughts from Last Week
Reading update, the Stockdale Paradox, a new favorite quote, our twins' first day of nursery school, and this week's selects.
Wrote today’s post aboard Metro North en route to one of my best friends’ bridal showers. Sitting next to me was one of my oldest friends, Alana, who knew the words to my heart:
Two words: say less.
There is no greater sign of friendship than being able to comfortably exist in silence.
(Although, on the ride home we watched our first episode of Love Island UK and simultaneously turned to each other and said, “These are the most hydrated people on Earth.”)
This week’s piece is a collection of thoughts that didn’t warrant a full essay, but deserved a few paragraphs.
Reading Recap
Here is where we are at for 2026:
A few observations:
The “done” pile is nothing compared to some of my friends who somehow finish multiple books every month. I average about a book and a quarter,
I didn’t fall in love with reading until I turned 30 (I am now 35), and I kick myself for not recognizing what a privilege it was to be “forced” to read in school. It may be the greatest example of youth being wasted on the young I have personally experienced.
That said, retraining the reflex to read instead of scroll is very, very real. Like almost every hard habit, I’ve found two things matter most: limit decision fatigue and set your environment up for success.
That’s why I always keep a stack of “Next Read” books on my nightstand, where I do almost all of my reading, spanning different genres depending on my mood. Because nothing kills a reading streak faster than a bad book. Momentum is everything.
And if you need a little push to pick up the habit again, here are a few quotes I’ve sent to friends over the years:
My favorite:
“Read books because you will never be able to meet and spend uninterrupted time with the thoughts of so many brilliant and unique people.” ~Mark Manson
On not overthinking what to read:
“Read, read, read. Read everything…trash, classics, good and bad...If it is good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out the window.” ~William Faulkner
The “why” behind the habit:
“Reading is the only grind no one applauds, until you meet a reader and see how amazing their thought process is.”
A classic:
“The best way to improve your writing is not always to write more. It’s often to read more. Instead of just enjoying the content, study the form. Pay attention to how they set up ideas, structure paragraphs, signpost transitions, and shape sentences. Role models elevate art.” ~Adam Grant
And finally, the quote I think about every time I pick up a book. The more you’re trying to understand, the more you’ll find:
“When you have a point of view the world becomes your library.” ~ Kobe Bryant
Last Thoughts on Delusional vs. Objective
The only “ism” that feels at odds with the Delusional vs. Objective conversation lives in the phrase that is industry agnostic as it pertains to mindset: Failure is not an option.
And sfter revisiting my notes app, I realized no better philosophy explains how unwavering conviction and objective truth coexist than The Stockdale Paradox.
Going back to Kobe's words, "When you have a point of view, the world becomes your library." I had already been thinking about the tension between irrational optimism and objective reality, so when I read Good to Great by Jim Collins, Chapter 4 landed differently than it otherwise would have. I could paraphrase the story, but I'd rather leave you to discover it yourself. It's fascinating and traces back to the mindset of American POWs during the Vietnam War.
In it, Jim Collins describes the Stockdale Paradox as the ability to hold two seemingly contradictory ideas at once: absolute faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the obstacles, while having the discipline to confront the brutal facts of your current reality.
One without the other is dangerous. Conviction without truth becomes delusion. Truth without conviction becomes defeat.
And that’s how “failure is not an option” finally made sense to me. Failure as an event is inevitable. Failure as your ending is optional. You may lose deals, races, conversations, etc. Just don’t lose yourself.
New Favorite Quote:
I feel this next quote, deeply:
“Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the page.
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life.”
Twins’ First Day of Nursery School
Last Wednesday, we dropped our twins off for their first day of nursery school.
Yes, a slightly unusual time of year for such a milestone. But there is a wonderful little school that stays open throughout the summer and admits children on a rolling basis.
And knowing that option existed somehow made the moment a little less scary. There wasn’t one singular date looming over us that marked the start of the next chapter. Instead, we got to turn the page when we felt ready (had to weave in one last book analogy).
Being a working mom means my children spend a lot time with people other than me or their dad. Like every parent, I care deeply about trust/warmth/patience. But there is another idea I think about often.
“We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.”
~ Louise Glück
I want that “once” to belong to people who encourage both curiosity and bravery.
Because there is a remarkable duality in teaching someone something new.
When our kids were learning to walk, I never wanted to react dramatically when they fell. I wanted them to get back up. To trust that falling was expected, not alarming. But that confidence has to exist alongside boundaries. Encouraging bravery also means teaching what is, and what is not, safe. (For example, Jack deciding the dining room table was an appropriate place to practice balancing.)
One of my favorite psychologists, Bruce Perry, often says that regulation precedes learning. Before children can explore, reason, or grow, they first need to feel secure.
And up until this point, my job wasn’t simply to protect my babies. It was to teach them that when I introduced them to someone new, they could trust that they were safe.
So when we arrived at school, they each reached for one of their teachers’ hands and walked right in. Jack, with his pacifier half hanging out of his mouth as he smiled. Maya clutching her lovey while practically shrieking with excitement.
Like so many moms, the tears were immediate. From me and from our indescribably incredible nanny.
Yes, there is a particular ache that comes with realizing another chapter of childhood has closed. But these were happy tears.
They didn’t hesitate because they felt safe.
And I’ve carried Perry’s teachings into Soto.
During your first class, I want to earn your trust with every passing block. I want you to understand the pacing, the transitions & the structure. Because once you feel safe, you push differently.
The best coaches don’t build confidence by convincing you that you’re capable. They build confidence by giving you repeated evidence.
Because eventually, evidence becomes memory. And memory becomes how we meet the next new thing.
Weekly Selects
Clinique Black Honey
I was the perfect victim for the algorithm on this one.
This lip color is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I don’t love shades that lean too pink, I always want something that looks a little more natural on my skin tone. This somehow manages to be both subtle and incredibly flattering.
My mom came over to babysit on Saturday and her immediate reaction was, “Okay. That’s my new favorite dress.”
Then, completely unprompted, my husband told me how much he loved it too.
Right then and there, the tags came off.
Also, this is my favorite shade of grey, and for whatever reason, it is nearly impossible to find summer dresses in this color. A new favorite.
Bread’s Sourdough
Nothing beats a fresh loaf of sourdough.
I pick one up every Monday and Thursday from Breads on 74th & 3rd, and today’s lunch was a fried egg on buttered toast.
Rodri
I’ve become an early recipient of two very different life updates: pregnancies and ACL tears. And I genuinely consider both an honor.
For the ACL category, I have a running list of athletes who came back stronger after reconstruction, this was the last time it happened with a friend of mine:
AND, I’m thrilled to officially add Rodri to that list.
As someone I admittedly didn’t know much about before this World Cup, his story is now going to lead it. Just twenty-two months after tearing his ACL, an injury that sidelined him for most of a season and left many wondering if he’d ever return to his previous level, he captained Spain to a World Cup title and was named the tournament’s best player.
“The best coaches don’t build confidence by convincing you that you’re capable. They build confidence by giving you repeated evidence. Because eventually, evidence becomes memory. And memory becomes how we meet the next new thing.” Obsessed!
🔥