Redefining “Intense”
The comment section, reframing a critique...and the start of a new video series.
I had an entirely different post ready for today (pushing it to next week, where we’ll explore the difference between disappointment & done, and reframe disappointment as a signal of the gap between action and intention.) But while searching for a clip from an interview I did on Good Day LA (I managed to say the same phrase five times in three minutes) I did the thing I never do… read the comments.
At 35, this isn’t new. I’ve heard versions of it my entire life. I’d say 40% of the time it’s meant as a compliment. The other 60%, as a critique.
And when it lands from that 60%...it stings for a second.
Then I recognize two things: the callus I’ve built and the power inside that observation.
Because at the end of the day, intensity is just care with nowhere to hide.
So the question becomes: what do you do with it?
Scale It
When I started at Goldman, my first real goal…unspoken, but urgent…was to figure out how to scale my energy.
5:45am demands a different version of you than 10:30am. Early on, I missed that.
I was… a lot. Fast. Loud. Over-animated. Every question felt time sensitive. Every idea felt worth saying immediately.
Looking back, I shutter at how I showed up. The intent was right, but it didn’t land. At one point, a trader told me, “You need to calm the f*ck down.”
Blunt, but fair.
It was the first time I understood that impact isn’t just what you say…it’s whether people can receive your message. And if they can’t… that’s on you.
I didn’t need to become someone else. I needed to read the room and adjust my delivery, without losing who I am at my core.
Over time, I learned how to modulate…how to bring the same intensity with more control…so that what I said could be heard.
Strategize It
Recently, I rewatched The Redeem Team after listening to The Mamba Mentality. There are plenty of memorable takeaways, but the part that stayed with me was Kobe’s story.
I had completely forgotten that he was not on the original team. Mike Krzyzewski recruited him after Team USA lost to Greece in the 2006 World Championship because Coach K knew Kobe had the experience and the mindset to lead.
He just needed a shift.
They didn’t need the “lone wolf” as the league knew him. They needed “Team USA Kobe”.
Now, the story everyone knows is still the one that proves the point: LeBron, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer, and Dwyane Wade went out to a club…and when they stumbled back in at 5:30 a.m., they passed Kobe in the lobby, already on his way to the gym.
In the elevator, on the way back to their rooms, they called him crazy.
But by Friday, everyone was on his schedule: lift, eat, practice.
Then in scrimmages, Kobe attacked drills as hard as a regular season game, and eventually, everyone followed.
Kobe’s goal shifted from being the best to making everyone better.
Same intensity, different strategy.
Call it intensity. Call it caring.
But whatever you call it, it should scare you.
Because if you aim it correctly, it doesn’t just change how you perform.
It changes everyone around you.
Weekly Selects
Isla - Lipid Layer Lip Balm
I only have one select this week. This.
I don’t like scented lip products, and most of the cult favorites have one. A few come close with a similar applicator, but the texture is too sticky and I know immediately I’ve wasted $20.
This one, though, none of that. Legitimately hydrating, with a stunning finish.
I have three.
I love that you’re gonna be doing the videos! You are so easy to listen to and it’s even easier to receive your message with the clips.
Intensity is a trait of achievers and this really reflects that.