Tired vs. Exhausted

Why the distinction matters, a conversation on postpartum recovery, and my summer sportswear reset.

Jun 22, 2026

For today’s note, I’m going to share a quick thought on the difference between being Tired vs. Exhausted, briefly recap the “why” behind my episode on The Wellness Process, and round things out with my favorite summer activewear pieces.

Tired vs. Exhausted

Let’s rewind to the beginning of today.

When you first opened your eyes, perhaps your first thought was, I’m exhausted.

Now it’s nearly 7:15 PM (on the East Coast), and I want you to think about everything you accomplished in the last 10 to 12 hours.

If you can point to even one thing, there’s a good chance you were not exhausted.

You were tired.

And, tired is just the price of participation.

It’s what you feel when you engage fully with your life. When you care deeply about your work, your family, your goals, or your responsibilities…tiredness will eventually arrive. By no means does it illustrate you’ve done something wrong. In the most literal sense, it means you’ve spent energy.

I wrote about this before in my piece on Practice vs. Conditioning, but I used to get frustrated when that feeling showed up. As though a strong work ethic meant I should move through every day with endless enthusiasm.

Now, this is where we need to manage our expectations because discipline does not eliminate tiredness. Discipline teaches you how to respond to it.

However, exhaustion is different. Exhausted is the absence of capacity.

At some point, continuing to push no longer builds momentum; it creates damage. I cannot count the number of clients who ignored knee pain until they turned irritation into injury and found themselves facing surgery.

The same thing happens outside the gym. Spend enough time working for a corrosive boss or staying with a partner who chips away at your self-worth, and eventually you stop trusting yourself.

The distinction matters because words, used well, tell you what to do next.

“I try to live to a standard, not the circumstances of the day. Some days it is easy. Some days it is hard. But I do it either way because that’s who I want to be, not because it is always easy to do.” -James Clear

A bad night’s sleep shouldn’t stop you from extending kindness to your colleague or patience to your family. However, it will test the sh*t out of you.

But after back-to-back endless nights working on a project, you owe it to yourself to sleep in. Order in. Exercise, only if it will make you feel good.

As @SpartanPsyche explains, the tiredness you feel during the early stages of building a new habit is often misleading:

“Early discipline is neuroplasticity in motion, because the brain burns significantly more energy building new pathways than maintaining old ones, and what feels like resistance is often just the cost of becoming mentally stronger.”

Deciphering between the two is hard. Learning your limits within a tired state takes practice.

So, if you woke up this morning claiming exhaustion and then proceeded to work, parent, commute, answer emails, make decisions, exercise, cook dinner, and get through an entire day, you were not exhausted.

You were tired.

Tired people can still perform.

Exhausted people cannot.

Learn the difference, and you’ll know when to push and when to pause.

Confuse the two, and you’ll either surrender too early or stubbornly fight a battle that recovery would have won.

Formation Over Transformation: Birth, Recovery and the Return to Self

Over the last year the most asked question I’ve gotten was how I found my way back to a body that felt like my own. But in order to give an honest answer, I had to talk about my recovery. And to talk about my recovery, I had to share what happened during birth.

And it is not a short story.

Because I had a delivery that was both a dream and deeply challenging. I am so lucky I gave birth to two healthy, 7-lb babies. To muddle that fact after I delivered felt wrong and insensitive.

Because there’s nothing more difficult than watching your baby go to the NICU, every mother would trade places in an instant. So, I’m beyond grateful the complications were mine.

Elizabeth is not only a friend, but someone who I deeply admire in her way to have honest conversations. So when she so generously offered her platform as a place to tell my story, I was deeply grateful.

Part I is available now, and I believe Part II will be released later this week.

To the countless members of our Soto community who have reached out through DMs, thank you for your kindness and patience as I gathered my thoughts around all of this. I promised resources to help new moms navigate the early, middle, and later stages of postpartum recovery, and I am so excited to finally have them ready to share.

Next week, The Weekly Assist will take a brief detour from sports analogies and motivation.

Instead, I’ll be sharing my postpartum recovery guide.

I’ve kept an ongoing list of the questions you’ve sent over the past year, but if there’s anything you’d like me to address specifically, please leave it in the comments.

Summer Sportswear

For the past three summers, I was either trying to conceive, pregnant, or newly postpartum, which meant shopping for new workout clothes ranked very low on my list of priorities.

Then came this year’s annual spring closet cleanout.

And while I am not above wearing leggings with a hole in them and acting surprised when someone points it out (”Wait, really?”), the time had come.

Many of my longtime favorites officially reached retirement age. Between formula stained white tees & sweatshirts with enough sunscreen marks to pass as a design feature, many pieces had simply survived one too many washes.

So this year was the reset.

Below are the new and re-ordered pieces I wear on repeat. All linked here.

Sweatshirts / Hoodies

SET ACTIVE | MicroFleece/Nylon Duet Vintage Pullover (Blue): Stunning and perfect for cooler nights.
Quarter Zip Sweatshirt, Aura Orangewhisper White: Have worn 50x already.
SET ACTIVE | MicroFleece/Nylon Duet Vintage Pullover (Light Blue/Yellow): Same as above, difference color-way.
Brandy Melville | Erica Oversized Sweatshirt: Some of my most prized possessions are from this store.
Quince | Everyday Fleece Crew Sweatshirt: I am fully in the “I love Quince” club.
Éterne | Shrunken Raglan Sweatshirt: I hate how much I love these. I have a lot of them though because they are just that flattering.
SotoMethod | Cropped Zip-Up Hoodie: Alright. I know I’m biased. But my #1 zip-up.

Sports Bras

SPLITS59 | Monah Rigor Bra: It is so gorgeous.
SET ACTIVE | Formcloud Cloud 90’s Bra, Ferris: Forever favorite.
SPLITS59 | Scottie Airweight Bra: THIS IS MY NEWEST OBSESSION. For anyone with a short torso, it elongates.
SET ACTIVE | Aeraline Breathe Hamptons Bra, Popsicle: In love.
Lululemon | Free To Be Bra, Wild Light Support A/B Cup: I just replenished my stock.

Shorts

Venroy | Taffeta Short: These are sickeningly fabulous. Even my husband commented on how much he likes them.
SPLITS59 | Megan Woven Nylon Run Short, Lotus Red Creme: They have a built in boyshort. INSANELY comfortable.
Beyond Yoga | Solemate 2.5” Shorts: New. Favorite. Running. Shorts. I own several so I am not waiting on the wash.
Vuori | Sedona Retro Short: These are your sweatpants for the summer.
Vuori | AllTheFeels™ Low Rise Shorty: Obsessed.
Nike | Women’s Volleyball Game Shorts: This is a hack for anyone who likes short/low-rise shorts. Volleyball uniforms make them very well.